


Vigil

by mindfluff



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-26 03:58:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindfluff/pseuds/mindfluff
Summary: So thispiccame across my news feed, and after reading the story, I got some serious Ty/Nick feels.  So now you get to have them too.EDIT: minor fixes to spelling





	Vigil

**Author's Note:**

> The MCD is from old age. This fic took me all day to write, simply because I had to stop every couple sentences and wipe my eyes. I've never made myself cry over a fic I was writing before but this just killed me. 
> 
> I need to edit it, but I really wanted to post it tonight so I'll take a pass through it later and clean it up.

Nick stood at parade rest in his dress blues at the front of the empty room next to the head of the coffin, his ebony cane held loosely in his hands behind him.  At eighty fucking years old, his knees couldn’t take standing like this for long, so he and Kelly had been trading off since the funeral had ended.  Kelly was currently curled up asleep on one of the padded benches to the side of the room.  The funeral home had been kind enough to indulge Nick’s request to stand vigil over Ty, and he and Kelly were the only ones left able to do it.  Zane had passed two years prior, Digger last year, and peacefully in his sleep instead of a ball of fire like they’d expected.  Nick had spoken with Owen's daughter Marissa, and she was flying in with him in the morning.  He's been doing well on the new meds, but she hadn't wanted to risk getting him confused from waking up in a strange place by flying in the night before.  Nick had also talked to Owen he had been able to track the entire conversation, so Nick figured Marissa  knew the best way to handle her dad's Alzheimer's.

The end result was him standing alone next to a coffin with nothing more than his thoughts to keep him company.  Honestly, Nick never figured any of them would make it this far, but when Zane passed, he knew Ty wouldn’t be far behind.  He and Kelly had dragged him onto the _Fiddler II_ and proceeded to sail from Boston to San Diego.  And back.  But Ty had never really regained that spark in his eye.  He'd faked it when he made them drop him off in Baltimore, but he couldn't fool Nick.  He couldn't fool Nick when they were 30, let alone at eighty. 

The CIA had purchased the building years ago and taken over operating the business when it had proven too much for Zane to manage on a day-to-day basis.  The CIA had apparently liked the way the "back entrance" worked and had installed some older agents as employees in the store so they could continue to use it.  They had, however, allowed Ty and Zane to remain in the upstairs apartment  and Zane would periodically help out in the store below.  Nick winced at the thought of dealing with all the steps.  He really didn't know how Zane had managed it there near the end.  He probably didn't leave the apartment very often.

Nick took a deep shuddering breath and fought down the emotions as he glanced over at Ty's body.  Ty was dressed in his dress blues, his cover resting on the edge of the coffin, a board displaying the medals that matched the corresponding ribbons on his uniform.  The lower half of the coffin was draped with the American flag, but Nick couldn't bring himself to let the funeral director close the casket. 

He dragged his gaze away from his best friend and stared straight ahead at nothing through watery eyes.  He must have lost track of time because the next thing he knew Kelly was in front of him, wiping a tear from his face.

"My turn Nicko," Kelly said gently.

Nick blinked and more tears tracked down his cheeks.  Kelly leaned in for a hug and Nick collapsed against  him, face tucked into his neck, fighting back a sob.

"I know Irish," Kelly soothed, running his hand down Nick's back.  "I know.  We'll get through this, I promise."

"I can't do it, Kels," Nick whispered.  "There's nobody left, just you and me."

"Johns'll be here tomorrow," Kelly started.

"But will he be _here_?" Nick asked.  "Or will he be back at Eli's funeral?"

"Nick," Kelly crooned.  "He's better in the mornings, that's why we're doing this so early.  And so what if he's not all present, he'll still be here."

Nick nodded against Kelly's shoulder, taking strength from Kelly's steady words. They stood in silence for a few beats before Nick spoke.

"Never thought we'd live this long, any of us," he muttered.  Kelly snorted, not letting him go.  "I knew it wouldn't be long once Zane died.  Don't care what they call it, Ty died of a broken heart."

Nick heard Kelly sniff as he nodded.  "We tried Nicko, but he didn't want to stay."

Nick hummed in agreement as he felt himself calm down.  "Help me to the bench?" he whispered.

Kelly gave him a squeeze, and then shifted their bodies so he could take most of Nick's weight.  They went slowly, and halfway across the room, Kelly snorted. 

"Reminds me of your father's funeral," Kelly explained.  "Couldn't walk then either."

"Fucker," Nick muttered.

"Who?  Me or your dad?" Kelly asked.

"All of you," Nick answered.  "Ty too.  Getting mixed up in cartel shit."

"Yeah," Kelly answered fondly.  "Kinda miss those days, bud."

"You would," Nick shot  back.  "I can barely walk and you want to go on a rafting trip through the Grand Canyon."

"It's a river trip, not a hike," Kelly shot back with a grin.  "We're old as fuck, but it'd still be fun."

Nick shook his head fondly.  "How about tubing down the Delaware instead."

Kelly chuckled and stole a quick kiss.  They'd finally reached the bench, and Kelly helped Nick sit down, then stood up and gave him a smart salute and marched over to Ty's coffin.  He saluted the coffin and took up the post that Nick had vacated. 

Nick watched his husband, proud that neither of them had lost much of their physique after so many years.  Well, as much as their beat up bodies would allow.  Their years of BASE jumping were far behind them, but they all still fit in their dress blues, so that was something anyway.

Nick leaned back against the wall, grateful for Kelly's diversion.  He rubbed his knee trying to ease some of the ache.  He had pills he could take, but they'd put him to sleep and he refused to leave Ty alone.  Even if he did have to sit and take a couple of breaks, he wasn't leaving Ty alone until he had too.   Nick stretched his leg out, lost in thought until the throbbing settled down to a dull ache. 

They spent the entire night that way, Kelly relieving Nick after he'd been standing for two hours, and Nick relieving him when his leg pain settled to an ache.  The funeral director greeted them at seven with a box of donuts and let Kelly make some tea in the staff kitchen. 

An hour later Deuce and Livi arrived and Deuce gave Nick a bear hug.

"How you holding up?" he asked as Livi wandered over to Kelly, who was taking his turn at Ty's coffin.

Nick snorted.  "Aren't I supposed to be asking you that?"

Deuce shrugged.  "I know how close you two were, I'd say its appropriate."

Nick gave him a grim smile.  "I'm doing as well as can be expected I guess.  You?"

"Same," Deuce answered.  "Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long."

"Yeah," Nick replied.  "That's why Kelly and I dragged him around on the boat."

"I figured," Deuce answered.  "We had the kids dropping in on him periodically too, but his heart wasn't in it."

Nick snorted and bit back a smile.  "Literally.  Did he tell you he was having a problem?"

"That was in poor taste." Deuce grimaced.  "He told me a month ago maybe?  I'd dropped in on him, and he passed out in the middle of a conversation.  Kind of had to tell me at that point."

Nick let out a huge breath.  "There wasn't anything they could do?"

Deuce shook his head in exasperation.  "He could have had a pacemaker, but he didn't want one.  Said he'd had enough surgeries over the years and he'd rather take his chances."

"He never said anything to me," Nick said. 

"Yeah, he didn't want anyone to know," Deuce said.  "He was really pissed when I badgered it out of him, but I told him I'd just call his doctor and get it out him anyway."

Nick chuckled.  "Yeah that sounds like him."  He took a deep breath.  "You ready for this?"

"No," Deuce answered.  "But I guess we don't have a choice."  He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. 

"I'll say something, then you can say something and then the funeral director is going to open the floor up to anyone else.  Once the service is over, we'll head over to Oak Lawn and Dale, Mike, Kelly, Mark, Fred and I will be pall bearers and you can lead the way.  Sound good?"

Nick knew all of this already, but he nodded in agreement.  Once they'd found out Zane wasn't eligible to be buried in Arlington, Ty refused to be buried there either.  When Zane's COPD had started to get really bad, he'd insisted on making arrangements so Ty wouldn't have to worry about anything.  Ty had wanted Zane to be buried in Texas so his family could visit is grave, and Zane had shot back that the only family that mattered was here anyway.  Zane finally agreed to Texas if Ty agreed to Arlington.  Ty refused to be separated and they'd finally settled on Oak Lawn in Baltimore.  Nick had fielded a lot of frustrated calls from both of them the month they'd been arguing that.

He felt Deuce touch his arm, and looked up to see Owen and Marissa walking in the door.  Owen came over a gave Nick a hug, tears in his eyes. 

"We gotta stop meeting like this Irish," he said with a weak attempt at humor. 

"Agreed," Nick answered.  "How was the flight?"

Owen grimaced.  "Long and early.  I'm too old for this shit."

"Aren't we all, Ozone, aren't we all." Nick clapped him on the shoulder, then turned to give Marissa a kiss on the cheek.  "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," she answered.  "How are you holding up?"

"I'm hanging in there," he said.  He glanced at Owen who had walked over and started talking to Kelly.  "How's he doing?"

"He's having a good day so far," she answered with a glance at her father.  "He's been doing really well with the new medication.  He gets worse when he's tired, so I expect I'll have a handful by the end of the day, but we've found the uniform is smoothing things over more than we expected."

Nick quirked an eyebrow at her.  "What do you mean?"

Marissa gave a low chuckle.  "We were getting ready to board and you know how they call anyone who needs assistance to board first?"

Nick thumped his cane on the ground in wry amusement.  "I'm familiar with how that works, yes."

"Well, dad didn't stand up or anything, so one of the flight attendants came over and asked him if he'd like to board first."  Marissa giggled. "He stood up, looking every inch the badass Marine he was and asked her if it looked like he needed special treatment.  I about died, but she handled it perfectly.  She said since he was a Marine, she knew he didn't need any assistance, but she would like to offer him a chance to board early in deference to his service which is something they do for all military personnel who are in uniform."

Nick groaned good naturedly and shook his head.  "He ate that shit up didn't he."

"Yeah, it was funny," Marissa said.  "They bumped us to first class and kept checking to make sure he was comfortable.  We were the first ones off the plane and every one of the crew shook his hand."

Nick grinned.  He'd learned to take advantage when people offered him things due to his service or age, even though it still made him uncomfortable at times.

"Will he be able to carry the casket?" he asked.

"He should be fine, he's certainly strong enough and he's still steady on his feet," she answered.  "I'll walk with him, if that's ok, so I can step in if he has a problem?"

Nick nodded, "Sounds good. Do you think he's going to want to say anything?"

Marissa shook her head.  "No, he's afraid he'll lose track while he's talking and doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable."

"OK," Nick answered.  "Everybody else should be showing  up shortly, you should get seats up in the front  row."

Marissa nodded and squeezed Nick's arm in support before she headed for her father.  Nick hobbled to the front of the room and tried to trade places with Kelly. 

"Go sit down Nicko," he chastised gently.  "You can come back up here half an hour before the service starts, ok?  I don't want you to push yourself  and not be able to walk at the cemetary."

Nick nodded and went back to the first row and sat down.  The next forty-five minutes was made up of various people coming up to pay their final respects and stop to talk to Nick.  There were two men in dark suits that Nick would swear were CIA but didn't introduce themselves, just took seats in the back.  Michelle Clancy and Fred Perrimore showed up and stopped to talk with him for a few minutes.  Zane's sister and her husband were there, as were Sadie and her husband.  Amelia, her brother Dale and their spouses spoke with him before going to sit with their parents and there were more Grady cousins than Nick could keep track of.   He was starting to get irritated with all the small talk when he caught Kelly's eye and got a quick nod of approval.

He stood up stiffly and relieved Kelly at the head of the casket.  They saluted each other and Kelly went to talk to Ty's family.  Nick stood there, staring straight ahead, thankful that he didn't have to talk to anyone else.  Just when he knee was starting to get painful again, the funeral director came out and Nick sat down between Kelly and Owen so the service could start.    He must have spaced out during the eulogy, because the next thing he knew Deuce was speaking and Kelly was unabashedly wiping his face.  Owen was staring straight ahead with a look on his face that Nick recognized from years ago as him desperately trying to remain stoic. 

When Deuce finished speaking, Nick stood up and gestured for Kelly to help him. They walked to the podium together and Nick took a deep breath as Kelly retreated to his chair.  When he started speaking his  voice was steady, even as his trembling hands gripped the podium so hard his knuckles turned white. 

 "I met Ty Grady more than sixty years ago on the bus to Parris Island.  He was a beacon that drew me to him like a moth to a flame.  We went through basic together, and dragged each other through training for recon.  We were always there for each other, even when we weren't.  I was there to keep him from going AWOL when his brother was hurt, he always came when I called and told him I was being framed for murder.  I pulled that prank on him five times, and each time he came, no hesitation. He was my best friend, my brother  and got me into, and out of, more trouble than I care to think about.  When he lost his husband two years ago, we pulled him onto my boat and sailed to San Diego and back in an effort to keep him here, but he was never the same.  We all knew it was just a matter of time, because we had never seen two people more in love then the two of them.  Ty, I hope you're driving him nuts, and Zane, I'm sorry man, I tried.  Oohrah Tyler, I'll see you on the other side."

By the time Nick finished, tears were streaming unimpeded down his face, but he didn't care.  He turned to the casket and snapped a salute to his best friend and forced himself to walk back to his seat.  When he sat down, both Kelly and Owen gripped his hands tightly in support. 

The funeral director said something else that Nick didn't pay attention to, and a few other people came up to speak. Nick couldn't remember what any of them said, but he knew the two retired FBI agents got a couple of watery laughs and Sadie had everyone laughing and then crying again.

By the time Nick could breathe freely again, everyone was done and the service was over.  The casket was closed, and the flag draped over the whole thing.  Kelly ushered Nick out to the waiting limo as Marissa did the same to Owen.  The ride to the cemetery was blessedly short, and then Kelly was helping him out into the warm spring air.  They lined up behind the hearse and once everyone was in position, Nick led the way to the open grave. 

Halfway there, Marissa came up and gave him her arm to lean on. 

"Dad says he's fine, and sent me up here to you," she said quietly.

"Thanks," Nick answered.  "It's a little farther than I should probably go alone at this point."

She hummed in response  and they continued on in silence. 

When the casket was placed on the grave-site, the funeral director said a few more words.  There was the 21 gun salute and Nick flinched at each volley, even though he tried not to.  Then the flag was folded, presented to Deuce, and people were walking up to place flowers on the casket.  Nick sat on the folding chair until he was the last one left before slowly walking up and placing a final rose on the casket.  Kelly guided him to the waiting car that would take them back to the bookshop for an informal lunch. 

Nick felt like he was walking through a fog; responding when spoken to, going where he was directed, but otherwise oblivious to what was happening around him.  Owen left mid-afternoon, and Nick had enough presence of mind to see he was still alert and was happy that it looked like they'd finally found a medication that helped him.  It would make life easier for both Marissa and Owen and hopefully delay the need to put him in a nursing home.

I was probably close to dinner time when Kelly steered Nick back to the _Fiddler II_ and tucked him into bed.  He disappeared for a bit, and then came back with water bottles and some cheese and crackers and his pain pills.

"Nicko," Kelly said softly. "Take your pills, eat some food and then you can go to sleep. It won't be so bad in the morning."

Nick took the water bottle and downed his meds.  Kelly handed him a cracker with a slice of cheese on it and Nick at it woodenly.  Kelly kept feeding him as the room grew darker until Nick ate everything.  When Kelly took the empty water bottle away, he looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time.

"Thanks Kels," Nick whispered.  "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Kelly nestled down into the blankets, dragging Nick with him.  "You'd carry on like you always do, but you don't have to do it alone." 

He maneuvered Nick's body around until Nick's back was pressed tightly to Kelly's front, legs tangled together, Kelly's arm gripping him tightly around his stomach.

He pressed a kiss to the back of Nick's neck.  "Love you Irish.  Go to sleep.  The hard part's over and  it'll be better in the morning, I promise."

Nick pulled Kelly's hand up to give it a kiss and nestled back into Kelly's embrace.  He could feel the pain pills trying to drag him to unconsciousness and didn't want to fight them.

"Night Kels, love you too," he murmured as the blackness closed over him.  His last waking thought was a prayer that Kelly was right and things would be better when he woke.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Deuce's son is named Rigsdale, because Livi wanted to carry on the naming tradition and Abi said that's what his name would be in Stars & Stripes.  
> I was watching a documentary on Leonard Nimoy and his COPD, and with Zane's smoking and drug use figured that would be a plausible cause of death.  
> Ty would, of course, die of a broken heart, but I made it a combination of what my grandmother passed from (because she didn't want to have surgery until after the holidays) and my dad's heart issues (he's not that stubborn and had it fixed)  
> Nick and Kelly are immortal, and I'll have it no other way.


End file.
